Happiness is hot

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I started writing a blog post yesterday when I was feeling really inspired. I had just had an incredible day which consisted of cooking, reading, learning, writing, a long walk, and looking after a very cute but little-bit-naughty chihuahua (hardest word to spell ever) called Bruiser. Since then, just a mere 12 hours ago, I’ve experienced some more lessons – that I feel impacted me greatly, so I’m going to share this first.

I had a pretty amazing experience of pure presence yesterday that almost moved me to tears (and no, I’m not even hormonal!). I can’t fully describe it in words but it was something like this. I stumbled upon a park in the middle of suburbia, where there was a bush reserve. I was listening to London Grammar and I started looking around me – and then I stopped walking – and I just looked. I saw and sensed pure beauty in everything and it was so intense that my entire body got covered in goosebumps. I stayed there for awhile and then walked to the open area of the park and all these little birds were darting around the air in between trees. So I sat there and watched. What I was seeing and feeling was so incredible, but in other ways – it’s not like I hadn’t seen things like that before, I just hadn’t really looked and felt it. I was too caught up in my egotic mind to experience – what I consider this experience to be – the pure miraculous beauty of being alive, amongst other beauty that was also alive.

I don’t like the word ‘perfect’ as it’s a social, cultural and self-imposed limiting construct that doesn’t even exist. But, we all know what it refers to, so in those moments everything was – as the egotic mind calls it – perfect. Which, life is if you just surrender to it and let it be.

Perfect (n) 

having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be.

free from any flaw or defect in condition or quality; faultless.

That evening two very minor things happened that triggered an emotional response in me.

So I ‘dealt’ with it in this way. I let myself feel all of the feelings. They felt weird and ick but I allowed it. Then I reached out to a friend to vent and share what I was feeling, as needed to bounce it off someone else. Then I read a couple of blogs on other opinions/perspectives, and then I tried a new guided meditation technique called ‘cutting cords’. This is all about energetic attachments you have to and from others, and releasing that energy. Finally – I saw this is a wonderful lesson and opportunity for growth, and as a reminder that I’ve got some letting go to do.

So, my day which was filled with beauty and inspiration, it was actually the icky feels and the way I utilised them that made the greatest impact on me.

“Happiness is a choice”

Anyway onto (a condensed version) of my original post:

There’s been so many concepts, ideas, perceptions, conversations, and theories flying around my mind at the moment that at this stage I can’t yet communicate everything I’m learning in a blog post. So, I just write when the inspiration strikes me, a concept of which I’m trying to base my life on. Doing things that feel good, when I feel like doing them. There’s no struggle, push, grind here – just inspired action, creativity, presence, bliss, and peace.

I can now say with a deep certainty and truth – I feel deeply happy, fulfilled, content and on-purpose. All with at the moment being “officially” homeless, unemployed and single. At the moment I feel happiest in the place in between. I feel most free in uncertainty. I feel bliss in this space. I think because it’s provided me with a chance to take a step back and look at and see how cultural, society and self-imposed beliefs are no longer serving me – and giving myself the space to investigate and choose a new perception.

I could literally write a whole book on what I have learned. But, today I’ll summarise with a few key points on practices that I’ve incorporated into my life that have made me feel happy as fuck.

Morning routine – The first half hour is key as to how I will experience the rest of the day.

  • My morning starts with checking my phone and a guided meditation. If I’m ‘short for time’ it’s Gabrielle Bernstein’s 6 minute morning meditation if I have more it’s Abraham Hicks ‘a morning rampage to set your day for magic’ – or any other one I’m in the mood for that morning.
  • I then record how I am feeling, three things I’m grateful for and three things that would make the day great. I once said to a friend, I’m feeling really ‘angry’ about something, and she said angry is such an umbrella term and recommended this list of emotions to really pinpoint how I’m feeling. So I write down both how I’m currently feeling in all honesty, and also on how I’d like to feel.
  • I have recently completed the book ‘May Cause Miracles’, which did nothing short of changing my life. When I was doing this book/course, I read the morning reflection (1-2 pages), and the affirmation for my day ahead.

This has increased my mood and happiness considerably. Sidenote: Check out ‘Busy is a decision” on Tim Ferris’ podcast ‘Tribe of Mentors’ for more on making time to do things you want to do.

Quick morning option:

  • I listened to a couple of vids yesterday which suggested some easy to incorporate techniques. The first was to imagine feeling good for 17 seconds – you know that thing you desire? (dream job, fit boyfriend, mind-blowing sex, incredible vitality and energy, a beautiful apartment etc) – take 17 seconds to feel what it would feel like having it. As most often you will be (as I know this as I have done, and still do sometimes do this) focusing on what you don’t have, then you will bring more of what you don’t have/want into your life. Feel it like you already have it, and find the feel-good-feels without having x, x, or x.
  • Or put your phone on a timer for 1 minute. Smile for 20 seconds, imagine someone you love is smiling at you. Then move into deep breathing and become fully aware of your breath. Finally, focus all of your attention on the now, on the present moment.

Other stuff that’s made me feel good as fuck:

  • Absorbing knowledge! This has been key. I’m really passionate about finding how to be blissfully happy and make my ‘dreams come true’ – but any knowledge you can introduce to your life will impact on it positivity if you choose to let it. At the moment I’m reading about 8 books, 4 blogs and listening to 3 podcasts, 1 audio book, 1 online course. A summary of some of this knowledge is here.
  • Doing things that scare me. This has been SO good for me. For example, just writing this blog and putting my thoughts ‘out there’ has really helped me push through fears and I care so much less what people think. At first when I accidentally linked this blog insta account to my FB and it pulled through my FB friends whom some started following me I totally freaked out! But now, I literally couldn’t care less about what others might think, or any potential ‘judgment’.
  • Finding purpose. I’ve started reading Dr. Libby’s ‘from exhausted to energized’ – I’ve read most of her books as I passionately love her holistic approach on health which is based on the biochemical, nutritional and the emotional. She’s shown me how to appreciate the pure fricken miracle of the body! Anyway, this stuck with me this week: ‘What people perceive to be social pressures to find their purpose, find their passion, and know what it is that they want to do can have its now impact on energy. It is perfectly fine – and in fact, recommended – to simply live each of your moments fully and marvel at it all. What if that was the purpose? … so maybe for awhile, stop trying to find the forest and just enjoy the trees. And observe what that does to your energy’. 
  • Trying new things. I’m listening to music I wouldn’t usually listen to. I’m watching documentaries that I wouldn’t usually watch. I broke my dating-fast on Friday and went out with someone who isn’t the same ‘type’ of guy I’ve dated in the past. He recommended this podcast called Invisibilia which I’ve started listening to. It’s about the ‘unseeable forces that control human behavior and shape our ideas, beliefs, and assumptions’- it’s very good! Essentially, I’m expanding my perception of the world – as I can’t quite express strongly enough, everything is a perception, it’s not the truth. 

Of course, we all know we should eat whole foods, exercise, meditate, be grateful, and that love comes from within – and no one else, or any external experience can really give you deep longterm happiness. But, what stops and blocks us from doing this? That is what I’m looking into at the moment. I have learned, however, that practice is key.  And as a yoga teacher once said to our class:

“Practise doesn’t make you perfect, it just makes you more practiced.”

From what I’ve learned every single thing in our life comes from the thoughts we think, which of course are based on our beliefs and perceptions. Think about your life. Your job, your home, your relationship, your furniture, your clothes, what’s in your fridge etc – that was all just once a thought. You have bought almost every thing and every experience currently into your life based on what you were thinking – the good, and the bad. Could you imagine what your life might / could be like if your thoughts were ‘bigger’ if you dreamed fearlessly? What would you choose those thoughts to be then? If you were confident, powerful, inspired, creative, abundant – how would you go through your day then? If you were going to die in a year, how would you live your life then? How would things change? (Because, without sounding too grim – you might die in a year, or sooner).

  • Finally – a friend shared with me an easy changing-your-mindset technique yesterday that I liked. It goes, change ‘I have to’, to ‘I get to’. For example: “I get to get up now and to work today. I get to clean my house. I get to cook myself, or others food. I get to exercise. I get to do my laundry. I get to catch a one-hour train journey that takes me to work. I get to get my car serviced.” – because simply, billions of others in the world do not have this luxury. Yes, nearly 3 billion people in the world, which is nearly half of the world’s population live in poverty and on less than $2.50 a day. You are so lucky to have the ‘problems’ that you have.

So with gratitude and love – I go forth in the day looking for and finding all of the things that will make me feel good. And I know that even contrasting experiences ultimately lead me to a deeper place of good-feels and happiness too.

Rhea

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