‘Be careful what you wish for, ’cause you just might get it’. PCD sharing one of my fave inspo quotes of all time.
I feel like I’m really onto something here with ‘all this stuff’. By ‘all this’ I mean, what I’ve been researching, studying and emerging myself in. It’s the feel-good-all-the-time/live-your-dream-life/be-your-best-happiest-and-fulfilled-self, stuff! This is my current greatest passion. I’ve definitely ‘unlocked some keys’ to my own inner deep happiness.
At the moment, and over the last few weeks, I feel ridiculously happy, deeply content, and on purpose. I’m not saying that to gloat or brag (ew), but rather to show how easy it can be to feel like this, most (if not all) of the time.
I’ve been reading af! Absorbing knowledge in areas I’m currently interested in: sex, orgasms, romantic relationships, all other relationships, business, freelancing, entrepreneurship, health, wellness, meditation, the menstruation cycle, the power of women, expanding consciousness, gratitude, forgiveness, presence, yoga, self-love, and happiness.
I’ve noticed some underlying concepts across these areas. Which having applied to my life are working for me like magic. This is some wisdom I’ve learnt lately:
Listen to yourself
This is cliche, but it’s been a catalyst for change for me. Here, I mean really tapping into and listening to your mind (conscious and unconscious thoughts) and body. What are they trying to tell you? I’ve been doing this through meditation and journaling. Some may call it ‘intuition’, ‘higher self’, ‘inner wisdom’, ‘authentic self’ etc. For me, I’ve found it to be tuning into the voice behind the voice (that constantly runs in your head) and tapping into those messages and feelings. Here, I received deep clarity and peace. Since our bodies don’t communicate with words or thoughts, but with physical sensations, what are they trying to say? What are the pains, aches, fatigue etc trying to tell me? What’s behind all of that? Just by turning in and listening, I’ve gained so much. Stopping, going slow, and tuning in is where all of the juiciness and answers are (also a cliche, but seriously!).
Just be you
Another terribly overused and cliche saying, but it sums it up. By ‘be you’, I mean, only you know what’s right for you, and by tuning in and listening, that’s where you’ll find your life-force-giving answers. Everyone is so different based on their life experience to date and how they are currently engaging with their mind and perceive themselves and the world around them. You will take on advice and messages that resonate the most with you. Look into this. Find out what interests you and lights you up, and find out why. Your unique voice and gifts are key, especially when it comes to business. No one has what you’ve got. Celebrate and utilise that!
Forgiveness is key
As A Course in Miracles says ‘forgiveness gives me everything I want’. Gabrielle Bernstein explains, “this affirmation is the perfect reminder when it comes to releasing the ego’s perceptions, our ego makes us think we want X (money, success, ‘true love’), whereas what we really want is to be happy”. As the Course suggests, ‘Forgiveness is the key to happiness’. This might be a fluffy or even religious-sounding concept for many, but it’s actually very simple and powerful. Gabby has a summarised overview of forgiveness here. Eckhart Tolle talks about, “die(ing) to the past in every moment (as) you don’t need it.” Forgiveness can help achieve this. I’m practicing forgiveness to myself and others every day. One of my fave affirmations at the moment is ‘I forgive myself for having this thought, I choose to see love instead.’
Let go, surrender and just be
This is a big one for me, and something I’m practicing on a daily basis. I’ve had health challenges in the past with chronic fatigue. Now that I’m in ‘decompress and detox’ mode after London (very much needed!), I’m creating space for letting go and surrendering. Interestingly, a lot of my health issues and fatigue have arisen. This time, instead of feeling frustrated, I’ve tapped in and listened. Why do I feel like this? What have I got to let go and surrender? Who do I need to forgive? What does my body need? At the moment, it’s resting and going slow. Just be-ing can be challenging for me as I often feel guilt that I ‘should be doing something’ due to self-imposed pressures and old beliefs. This is now a huge opportunity for me to practice all I’ve been learning, and strengthen that mind-body-soul (or whatever! spirit /inner wisdom/intuition/authentic self etc) connection. Which brings me too;
Opportunities and growth!
One key change in thinking I’ve had is choosing to see everything as beautiful opportunities for growth and development. This has made a profound impact on me, as even when things aren’t how I’d like them to be (i.e. feeling fatigued, heartbroken, annoyed), I know it’s an incredible opportunity to surrender, accept, let go, go deeper, learn more, and put to practice what I’m learning. In fact, the bigger the challenge or harder the situation, the bigger the opportunity to learn and grow. There will ALWAYS be challenges in life, and by simply (yep, it was just a switch in perception), seeing every challenge as an opportunity for growth, the negative feelings dissipate and positive feelings generate (whilst also strengthening your intuition), which brings me to one of my current favorite topics;
The law of attraction is real and vibrational magic people!
The more I learn about this way of thinking, the more I LOVE it. It’s so damn empowering. It’s all about cultivating the feel-good feelings, which then brings you more feel-good feelings, plus everything you desire in life. This is a big topic, but to summarise it’s about asking for what you want in (any area of) your life, letting go and releasing it with trust, taking inspired action (i.e. only if feels good), and receiving (many people have trouble with this part). The law of attraction and manifesting is a huge topic which I’ll delve into deeper another time, but to start…,
Follow the good feels sugar
The easiest way I believe to get clear on what you want, and what direction you want to go in, is to tune into what makes you feel good. If it doesn’t feel good, simply don’t do it, or realign and redirect. Don’t get caught up in the ‘shoulds’. Find what makes you light up and do that! And let the rest go. Recently, I’ve quit 9-5 office based work forever, as it doesn’t make me feel good, I’ve given up alcohol and drugs (hangovers don’t feel good), and coffee (haven’t had one in 4 days! as it makes me anxious and gives me jitters). I’m taking a break with dating and lots of socialising as I currently I feel happiest straight chilling with lots of alone time (bliss!). By letting go of the ‘should’s’ that are no longer serving me (have a steady career, always be doing fun things, be in a serious relationship, earn X amount), I’ve created space for innovation, creativity and fresh inspired thinking. I’m now basing my life on what feels good to me, whenever possible. No more ‘pushing through’, ‘daily grind, ‘boring conversations’ or mediocre living.
Dream bigger! ‘Realistic’ is a happiness killer
Dream bigger babe! Write down your ultimate blue sky thinking/if-anything-was-possible-dream. I felt quite weird doing this, and anxiously self-conscious when sending it to a friend (hai ego-based fear). Tim Ferris inspired me on this topic the other day. He says “Average goals are uninspiring”, so momentum gets lots easily. If you find your goals hard to follow, it’s probably because they are boring (think about it). He goes on, “99% of people in the world believe they are incapable of achieving high things, so they aim for a mediocre” (hello mediocre life). He explains, “the level of competition is the highest for realistic goals”, as everyone is trying to be realistic! Strive for a dream that’s actually worth dreaming and creates excitement. Shake it up, and get unrealistic. You are better (talented, successful, knowledgeable) than you think you are. I love Allan Watt’s ‘What If Money Was No Object‘ inspirational 3-minute talk to inspire the big dreams, which aims to create a life filled with things you love doing.
Everything (in every area) comes down to self-love baby
Loving yourself, knowing your worth and believing in yourself is key. If you believe you can do it, then well, you can. This the number one fundamental building block to being happy in every area of your life. This is worth investing time and energy into. Everyone, women especially, face challenges with self-love and feeling ‘worthy’. Often as women, we receive subliminal messaging that our worth is tied to a mans (i.e. ‘success’ and identity in a romantic relationship), and men often receive subliminal messages that their worth is tied to their work. Have you received this messaging? Is it an old belief that’s no longer serving you? There are of course many other cultural and self-imposed beliefs we pick up and believe to be true throughout our lives. Tune in and listen to the thoughts that run your life (and your mind), witness, accept, forgive, and let them go.
This is fundamental to moving forward. To ‘breakthrough’, you need to know what’s been holding you back and why. Why do we so rarely ask ourselves, do I really believe this? Where did it come from? What belief/s will serve me the most? What do I choose to believe? Take a course on mindfulness or the ego, read a book or simply meditate and journal. Witness the fears and realise they are ego based fears. By shining light onto your ‘deep dark thoughts’ and old beliefs, that releases them. Look for patterns in your life or unwanted things in your life (e.g. bad dating experiences, lack of happiness at work, bad health) etc. This is where you need to tune in to find out why you feel that way because then you can release it. Which brings me to my favorite point..!
It’s all perception babe
Every single one of us is going through and experiencing life is a unique way, in a way that no one else it. This is based on your culture, upbringing, challenges, dreams, and thoughts you have about yourself and your life (etc!). My favorite part of all this is that perception is not the truth. Most people believe what they see and what they think is the truth. It isn’t, you’ve just chosen to see it that way. In fact, you’ve chosen most of what you currently have in your life right now, including many relationships, passions, achievements, and also your challenges, to-do-list, stresses, and struggles. I watched an inspiring webinar by Sam Ovens last night (a broke college drop out from New Zealand who made 10mill by the age of 26). He explains, “What you believe to be true affects your perception of reality. What you’re experiencing every day isn’t ‘reality’, it’s reality exposed to your method of questioning. Your perception of ‘yourself’ and what you’re capable of isn’t true, it’s just a perception. When it comes to achieving goals and dreams, the biggest thing standing in your way is the perception of yourself. To achieve your dreams, become the person that would achieve those dreams”.
Re-perceiving and re-writing / scripting
One of the easiest way to ‘become the person who would achieve those dreams’, is to write down who you are, as how you’d like to be. What would ‘that person’ look like, live, wear, do for fun. What are they known for, how to others see them. The more specific, the better – and the bigger the dream, the better!. This can sit over every area of your life. It also it’s a great way to get clarity on what you really desire, as most people don’t know what they really want, which results in them dealing with life experiences as they come their way, rather than consciously creating life’s experiences. Note: the way you see yourself is how others see you, so how do you want to be perceived? An anxious, afraid, low confidence weirdo, or a sexy, powerful, go-getter (insert whatever words fit best for you).
Choose your fucks wisely
To make room for all the juicy feel-good stuff, cut down on all the feel-ick or average stuff. Choose to give fucks only about what makes you feel good, not what make you feel bad. Fucks are quickly disappearing from my life at the moment. In the last few weeks, I care so much less what people think and have released a lot of obsessive toxic thinking. Social media detoxing is helping loads with giving up fucks on comparison and judgment. Now I’m putting my fucks towards what makes me feel good only.
Words create things
This is integral to my philosophy. What you think and what you say, creates your experience of your world. I’ve cut back on speaking words of negatively and judgment. Last year I was stuck in a toxic pattern of complaining and talking about the things I don’t want. This just brings more negative feels and experiences into my life. By being conscious of what I’m saying, my world is changing significantly for the better and the quality of everything in my life is increasing. For example, I’m now referring to my work as ‘creative projects’, and saying I’m ‘self-employed’ (even if I’m yet to receive money, I know I will in due course). This ties back to the law of attraction and living my life as if I’ve already received my desires, which eases any pressure and makes me feel good right here and now, instead of when I have X or achieve X or live X or date X. By believing good things are on their way, then they are! And in turn, this brings them to me. Another current favourite affirmation is ‘I will receive’.
Get excited af!
Finally, I’ll leave you with this, as it made an impact on me this week. Ferris says, everyone wants to be happy, but ‘happy’ is an ambiguous word. He suggests the opposite of happiness, in fact, boredom (being stuck in a boring job, average relationship, mediocre life, blah!), and that excitement is actually happiness. Ferris says that excitement is the more practical synonym to strive for. Some may call it passion/bliss – he thinks they mean excitement. So, what would excite you? Like biggest dream possible, get up everyday feeling fucking amazing, deeply happy and fulfilled. What would that look like for you? Get unrealistic as fuck and tap into those feel-good-feels babes.
With love (and excitement obvi),